What I Needed Most

This weekend has been exactly what I needed. I love my friends, but honestly some times you just need to get away. Saturday I hung out with my sister all day. I went up and saw her at school and hung out with her friends, we watched movies. It was a lot of fun. Today I've just done homework here and there and beaded for my mom.

I think I just needed a breather from everything. A little time out, where I didn't have to sit and think of all the stupid stuff thats been going on....Monday may be gay though.

For once in my life I know exactly what I want....but can't have it. I hate when that happens.

My sister found a guy she wants me to date. He's really cute to, fun to hang out with. So basically now thats two guys that I could easily fall for. Cute, funny...and everything that would make me want them. And yet I can't. I feel like there is something wrong with me, whats so good about this other guy that makes me not want any one? It'd be so much easier...It frusterates me like no other. I've never felt this way, its almost pathetic.

The rain is pouring right now. I love the rain. Everything about it. I paused in my writing to just stare outside at it. Its letting up...why does a good rain never last? Rain reminds me of so many things...

Are you afraid of being alone
Cause I am, I'm lost without you
Are you afraid of leaving tonight
Cause I am, I'm lost without you

I love it.