"I'm just a fucked up girl who is looking for my own peace of mind"

Thursday, October 27, 2005

Bad Karma

I have been impacted emotionally, physically and mentally the past week.

...Rejection, Eye Tumor, Robbery...

They say things happen in 3's. I hope this is the last of it. I don't know why it's all happening to me.

Tuesday, October 25, 2005

Things On My Mind

Our school is basically retarded. Oh wait, mentally impaired. Any ways. Today is testing day. Pretty much all the juniors get it off which is a little random. But yea, if you need to retake the HST as a senior you had to go in. I got up normal time, actual even earlier because I thought eating breakfast for once would be good. So I get there, I take my test and get done at 9 o clock. They say "We have nothing else for you to do, or for you to go and we don't want you to be loud for all the other students...leave". So they kicked us out of the school. Now if you're taking the second test today its at 12:30. Well in my opinion if you are taking two tests you shouldn't have to go to class. Nope, they are making us go to 4th hour (11:30) then at 12:30 we'll leave to go do another part of the HST. Bullshit. I'm not going back in until 12:15. Bite me.

Tomorrow I don't think there is an option for coming in late. But I have to do another test tomorrow at 12:30, so I don't think I'll be coming in for the morning tomorrow either. Look at my scheduale, you'd do the same. Plus all the teachers know there is testing going on so what are they really going to give us to do. The classes I'll miss...Computers, you gotta be kidding me if I'll actually fall behind in that. Then video, we sit and gossip all hour. And then english, which we are doing presentations and I already did mine. Why sit and sleep in school during presentations when I can sleep at home in my bed, with silence?

I'm awesome.

I'm to awake to go back to bed and no one is online. And TV sucks during the day. Its 9:36, so soap operas arn't even on. As if I'd actually watch one.

I could curl up and watch a movie. Mmm, that sounds fun.

I want pizza for lunch.

The talent show went awesome. I've been hearing non-stop compliments on my directing. Nolen thinks I could easily go to college for buiness-ish stuff where I'd have people working under me. Thats an awesome comment to hear for a teacher. I don't remember any other specifics, but yea...it was sweet. And I got Alise to come and I havn't seen her since the day before school started. I didn't think she'd actually come so that was way awesome. Plus she said she biked from E.L. to Okemos just go get a ride to the school. I'm loved.

This weekend should be pretty pimp-tastic. Someone has to have something Thursday night. No school Friday. May hang out with Jenny and Alise during the day Friday for there birthday which is Sunday. Friday night, Saw II baby! Then Saturday I think Chad has a thing. Sunday will be major homework. I still have 300 pages and a poster to do for Tuesday, and Monday I will be working.

I have another eye tumor.

The leaves are awesome. I love fall. But its already passing. November brings snow a lot of the times. Then the 'Holiday season' arrives. Thanksgiving, Christmas, New Years. I plan on having a New Years party. OH yea baby.

I've been hanging out with Hannah a lot lately. She is basically the coolest person ever. And Becca in drama. So sweet.

I got a lot of hugs this weekend. I love hugs. They are my weakness.

Sunday, October 23, 2005

Freaking Out

I'm pretty much spazzing. Last night I got all of an hours sleep. I worked 4 hours or so Friday with Chris on the video for today. Then another 4 or 5 yesterday. I watched Batman Begins once my dad got home...

I can't keep my mind off of today. The difference between this and a big performence is I put it all together. Even though it won't be my fault, if there are mess ups, this was my production.

The other difference is a big show you get 4 or 5 chances to perfect it. This is one shot.

This is going to sound stupid later.

Havn't eaten in a day and half.

Cross your fingers...here we go...

Thursday, October 20, 2005

Cut Off

When I got home from school on Monday to my surprise my internet didn't work. I figured it was okay, so I went downstairs to watch TV. Well thats also out. I didn't worry, I can live with a day. Well Tuesday, still out. I called the company Tuesday night she said "EVerything is fine there" and hung up. Obviously if its not working everything is NOT okay. But whatever bitch. Wednesday, still not working. Called the company again. He said they were sendign someone Thursday morning (today). So hopefully when I get home its working. God, 4 fucking days with no internet..I will scream if its not back. And currently I'm writting at school.

I'm not looking forward to this weekend. Nothing planned. Everyone else is busy. Everyone else got invited to things. I believe I have counted 4 things in the last week I wasn't invited to...by "Friends" of mine. I'm so freaking awesome!

Nothing else on my mind that you need to know...

Friday, October 14, 2005

It Stings

10 days
Money
Food
And a house

What to do...

I'm a good kid at heart really. But when you look back, you need something to laugh about with your kids, with finishing the story "now you better never do that!!"...I'd like to make a few of those stories in the next few days. We'll see what happens.

The talent show. Yeah know...so many people cut it down and say how much they hate it. This may sound lame but that really hurts me. Surprise surprise...if you havn't noticed. I am running the whole fucking thing. I've put probally 20+ hours into it, and then people close to me say "its not a big deal" "I don't want to do it" "This is stupid"

Ouch

The idea wasn't mine. But I took it under my wings and honestly The Sharen hasn't done anything towards it. Its 100% me, like it or not. And thats putting that much effort into something and having people cut it down. Not cool.

Just putting that out there.

I love October...and Fall....Everything about it. The weather makes me happy, and over all nothing can bring me down right now. Well not much, there are few good things going on right now...but those few good things are so good, they tend to over power the many bad.

I'm working on a peom for in here. I've tossed some stuff around, we'll see what happens. I may never add it but who knows.

Wednesday, October 12, 2005

Busy

Nothing has happened this week. Well, thats not true...I've been really busy I guess.

Work
Talent Show
Sound of Music
Enterprise Interview
Tests

Okay, so maybe that doesn't seem like much, but I've had no time to relax. 0 Downtime. My head has been buzzing. I can't wait until next week when the Talent Show is over.

Your all coming right?

Chad got me hooked on this 'tagged' thing. If you want in, let me know.

Can't wait til Friday.

Sunday, October 09, 2005

Not Enough

Yesterday I woke up very early to have some quality time with my mom. We took a road trip to Port Huron (2 hrs) to do a craft show. It was freezing, luckily we had gloves. We didn't have a blanket, or hats. I don't have ears any more. We sold nothing. It rained. And it was the funnest day with my mom ever.

Funny how you can make a horrible situation a lot of fun. We weren't discouraged from not selling anything. Our jewlery is high class. The only stuff being sold around us were the $5 and under items. No one sold anything. But yea, only outdoor show for this year. We need a better canopy. I'm sore today.

On the way home we were scanning for a radio. Since we were 5 minutes from the bridge to Canada we ran across a station in all french. First they were talking, and my mom and I sat and came up with what they were REALLY saying. Of course what we came up with was all sex related. "Oh my god they just said cock!" Yeah thats me and my mom for ya. But after talking they sang a song! OMG funniest thing I've ever heard. It was catchy, we wana find a french cd, because its a stress releaver. Any who, you may have had to been there for the french radio station to be funny.

We headed back to Lansing and got to East Wood at like 5. We were going to see a movie but we picked out 'Elizabethtown' and it isn't out yet, and we wanted to see 'In her shoes' but decided to wait until next weekend with my sister and Aunt Debbie. (So its all sister/mother/daughter-y.)

We had an irish dinner while discussing boys and trips to Ireland. I guess when my mom was little she went there with her sister and parents, because her mom was obsessed with collecting these dolls and had to have the actual ones. Any ways, she had a pen pal which she met while there who ended up being ugly...and her mom wanted them to hook up because she thought he was cute. (thank god me and my mom know each others taste). And they drove off at one point with two guys in a mercedes, and my mom and aunt were 16 and 21...and didn't see the big deal.

I love learning new and funny stories about your parents.

Also at the show we people watched a lot. We like to name the venders around us. There was Halloween Lady, Wood Man, and Pie Boy. Haha....yeah, people are interesting.

I love hanging out with my mom...days like yesterday don't happen enough.

Thursday, October 06, 2005

At A Loss

This week has been better then most. Not as much bull shit in classes, although some stupid people in video, who don't even show their faces any more. Ugh....

After school today I had a great time. Drama practise, then video editing, and I even ran into Chad. It was a fun afternoon. Then I went into Okemos with my dad, fun stuff.

Tomorrow is Friday. Our last football game. Our last one for High School. Tailgating. Then sounds like a bon fire? Saturday craft show with my mom. Sunday who knows. Hopefully something good...

I had some stuff to write about and now am at a loss.

Sunday, October 02, 2005

Thinking Out Loud

Filmed a skit called "Ches-ley's Elevator Ride" today. My dad watched it and cracked up. I can't wait for it to air now, because if he liked it...

Last night after the game and all that some of us went to Zach's house. Kelly, Justin, Chris, Alec, Zak and Casey were all there. It was interesting. I have no idea what we even watched. Oh, um...'House on haunted hill' and 'Evil Dead 2'. Hah! I remembered. But yea...interesting night. And interesting in this case is a good thing. Zach, I had a lot of fun you need to have us over more often. And like you said it was relaxing, it (along with Friday) helped me forget the horrible week I think everyone experienced. I mean, lets be honest...did any one enjoy last week? Nope.

Worked on homework after people left....I don't like homework. I think this is the first year I've ever done it.

I took easy classes this year...and have more work. Does that make sense?

Sara let me borrow her three Relient K cds, I really like them so far.

Mirrors creep me out.

Why is it so fun to drink out of glass bottles?

Some say we're never meant to grow up
I'm sure they never knew enough
I know the pressures won't go away
It's too late

Seems like everything we knew
Turned out were never even true
Don't trust, things will ever change
You must be dreaming

"Some Say" Sum 41

Saturday, October 01, 2005

Friday Awesomeness

Last week was horrible. I tried so hard to block it out, and I'd have to write a book just to describe all of it. But Friday....oh what a day.

School was blah. I had lunch with my mom and skipped 4th hour. She was stressed because today is her first craft show. Pray for her. She has no money, can't really afford her house and needs nothing more then to be able to quit her job because the buiness she is trying to start works. Please pray for my mom...she needs it, I don't know what she'll do next year with me gone.

Tailgating was AWESOME. We actually had a turn out! The one time I didn't bring my camera. Lets see if I can remember all the people...Kelly, Chris, Justin, Casey, Zak, Alec, Emily, Jake, Chad, Sara, Emma, Kim, Rachel and myself. Kick ass. One more game. One more football game for my high school career. I don't want to grow up...

The game. We lost, but I didn't watch. Went between two groups hanging out. Lots of funny things I'll keep in my head about the whole night. After the game we went to McDonalds to get snacks and warm up before moving to the soccer game. We laughed way to hard and disrespectfully. They say laughter gets you through life...so please take back your glares.

The game was cold. To many hours outside in a row. Went to Rachels with Justin, Chris, Chad, and Emily. Scary. Awesome bonfire I had a lot of fun. I don't think I ever warmed up. And after announcing we were streaking we were offered beer, and asked if we had any pot but the neighbors. Creepy.

I don't even want to write about today yet, because Friday was to awesome to be in the same post as Saturday.

 
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