For The First Time I Know This Is Now Who I Am

I'm trying to hold onto today as long as I can. It's the last time I can breath for two weeks, even though it's not working out to well. I just want to get through this in one piece.

Everytime I figure everything out in my head something new comes out. I want to just be content. I would love to just feel good about everything and not have anything bad to worry about or try and fix. Maybe that's what retirment is all about. Watching Price is Right all day, playing golf, baking way to many cookies that you don't need, playing cards with the neighbors...and just being happy.

Sounds like we're on the same page again. Which is a relief. I was glad when you didn't feel good. The thought scared me to death. It was a crazy night, but lets leave it back then, during break, where it belongs.

Muskegon scared me to no end. Being to far away to visit, knowing you wouldn't or couldn't come see me. I only pretended to be okay because it was the only option. The lady on the other end of the phone was exactly what I was looking for. There is another option. They didn't tell me about it before. I'm glad I was home that night, I wasn't suppose to be. She said I could go to Owosso....25 freaking minutes away.

I have support from the one person I thought would try to change my mind. She said it's a great idea, and it's way more "me". I've noticed every since school has started I've been learning what "me" is all about.

I'm not into the classy celebration, I want the one last party before I leave. I'm not into being away from home and cut off for all this. I want to be close enough to visit and yet dependent if I choose. I'm not looking forward to starting over with all new people, I'm going to cherish the people from now and only then meet new ones, not cut them off. We're very different and mom and dad don't see it. But at least we do.