I Don't Need Your Sympathy Or Apologies

It was getting to the end of our lenghty conversation when she said to me, "You know, I really miss you...". I hung up the phone and almost cried. I didn't realize it until just then how much we've drifted since summer. But that's what happens every year. We're best friends during the summer then we have our own lives and fade. Sure we'll always be close but...I just don't want to ever loose that bond completly.

And why are you both so fucking stubborn. Your to stubborn to admit you were wrong, and he's to stubborn to ever take her back. I don't understand it. It would piss me off if everything worked out in a way. Because you fucked my life up once and it would have all been for nothing.

She wanted a change in her life and that meant leaving. Most people get a new hair cut, or more drastically a car but who just ups and decides they're done. I don't understand. I'll never understand you. And now you're being nice, for what?

On the other hand I don't blame him for his stubbornness. Why would you take that back. After what she did, with no reason. Her loss.

It would make so much more sense sure, and a lot of things would be easier if it worked but we're not living in a movie. I'm putting it out of my head.

Went shopping today. I had to do something now that I have nothing. No practices...nothing. I havn't hit the reality of it yet and I don't want to. Reality stings. I'm glad to have a break and to rest from that group of people, but the last week although is the most stressful is the funniest week...and now it's done. But the next one will approach probally way to soon. Sounds like April 27th.

I hate feeling mean, or feeling selfish. Am I being selfish right now? Isn't it a situation where I'm suppose to be. I'm suppose to think about my happiness right now first, right? To make them happy would go against everything I want. I hate when people try to give their opinion to. I felt horrible reading the message last night..."Im sorry"....what was I suppose to say. I don't know how I get myself into these things all the time.