I'm A Fucked Up Kid Is What They Said

This weekend has been pretty crazy. Not physically, but a lot of realizations have happened and stuff like that. And every day was exactly what I needed.

Friday was going to Grand Rapids and getting my mic. Seeing my Aunt Judy, then running home in time to see Hannah and Tia. We went to Bubble Island and a freaky movie, Wolf Creek. I don't plan on going to Australia any time soon now. Saturday I laid around all day which was wonderful. Watched a lot of tv. Then got breadsticks, and went to Meijers for a bit.

Yesterday Hannah and I pretty much talked hours on end at Bubble Island while playing Connect Four. I'm pretty sure I am the champion, but if you talk to her we just had dozens of practise rounds. Then we ended up getting breadsticks again, and I have no idea why. Finally ending at Hannah's where we randomly jammed out, and watched Se7en. Weird shit right there.

Today practise from 11-7, and I may not survive.

Sometimes I hate feeling like I have to be everyones wall. I have to be the strong one, because does it help the situation is everyone is freaking out? I do this at home, with my friends, and at school. People that don't know me probally assume I never get stressed or freak out.

I'm fucking freaking out. About everything. Lay in bed for hours hoping time will just stop. It's all pretty much a waste of time though, I can't fix it.

I've had way to many people on my mind this weekend. I mean, you've been gone for a year....you fucking hate me...God I wish you went away....the other kiddo is never allowed to leave....I don't think I could get more disapppointed by you....

And on it goes

"I'm just a fucked up girl who is looking for my own peace of mind"