Sometimes I Give Myself The Creeps

Got an extra day off. Something I wish I had known ahead of time, could have done stuff Wednesday night. Woke up and got ready for school. Nobody informed me on the snow day. By the time I was all ready I was awake, and never went back to sleep. Got chocolate milk and donuts. Watched Price is Right, eventually ended up at Best Buy, Bubble Island, DDR, Riding the bike in the house, Danielle's w/ a kid from camp.

Tried the massage stuff Friday with my mom and Ashley. I'm seriously already addicted. I want to start going after school. Even if it doesn't help with anything, it feels good and is free. I'm hooked. Ended up hanging out with some new kiddos. Some Lansing stuff, a random Mason thing. Fun night. Got home at 3, second night in a row. So sleep deprived.

Massage stuff again. Then a birthday party at Spag's, I can only take so much of little kids. Headed out an hour early for the concert. Went for pancakes, didn't even order any. Got lost...good thing we left early on accident. Got in free because Tia stuck her hand through the mail slot in the door. I love live bands. Boink was awesome, Rydell was sweet too...I think they do all cover songs though. I knew a lot of their stuff. Met Justin, got Tia a picture. He's a friend of the bands, I think the hot bass guy talked to us. Tried to go to Cold Stone, had random girls run out of no where. Went to Melting Moments instead. Then the bookstore. Got home at 11, earliest in who knows how long. Got home and had random people in the my house...all using my blankets from the basement. Got upstairs and saw the only blanket on my bed was the sheets. Couldn't go to bed until they left...where I am now.

I hate that I'm protective. I don't think it's appreciated and it's pretty much a boring characteristic. That night was what made me spaz, causing me to clean. I've never freaked that much in front of someone. I hate the feeling of being in charge, and if I say 'no' it'll only leave to disappointment. The worst emotion in the world. If I never wanted to again would you still hang out with me? And my point was proved, not wanting to just once made me dumb.

Deep down I love it, which maybe that's the problem. I don't want it to be the habit and be expected.

You win.....you always fucking win....

No, it's not the last time
'Cause i'd never say no to you



So close to drowning but I don't mind